More Facebook Posts and a Promise To Do Better

From August:

[New Mama], in an effort to get her son to clean up his toys, asked him, "What will Daddy say when he gets home and sees a big disaster?" Henry's reply? "Daddy knows I like messes."

[New Mama] had the following exchange with her son at bedtime:

Henry: Jupiter has a red spot on it, right?
Me: Yes, that's right.
Henry: Is it a big hole?
Me: No, I think it's part of Jupiter's atmosphere. But I'm not sure. Daddy might know,... or we could look it up tomorrow.
Henry: Daddy could be wrong. The Internet will know.


From September:

[New Mama] attempted to play along with Henry's bad dream the other night. He was yelling, "Give that back to me!" so I said, "Okay, here it is." He clawed at me and then cried out, "Noooooo! That's a FAKE!"

[New Mama] thinks her four-year old needs to work on his middle-of-the-night comebacks.

Henry (in his sleep): Where is that train? Help me look for it!
Me: Sweetie, there is no train. You're dreaming.
Henry: No, I'm not! YOU'RE dreaming!

[New Mama] was helping her son put together an alphabet puzzle, and when she gave him the letter "I" to put down next, he said, "That's right! Good guess, Mom!"

[New Mama] should really correct her son, but "drinky fountain" is just too darn cute. (Also, when he says "turquoise" it comes out "turkey-wise.")

[New Mama's] son cried out, "I don't want this job anymore!" as he was waking up this morning. I have bad dreams about jobs I've had; he has them about jobs to come, apparently.


From October:

[New Mama] overheard this conversation between her teenage nephew and Henry the other day... Jack: Henry, do you want to hear a joke? Knock, knock. Henry: I already know that one.

[New Mama's] son was building with Lincoln Logs this morning when she heard him quietly chant, "It's a long way to the top if you want to rock & roll."


And an e-mail I sent to relatives recently:

Tonight as I was lying with Henry in the dark, waiting for him to fall asleep, he said to me, "Mommy, can I tell you a joke?" I said okay, figuring it would be something that made no sense, as is usual for his jokes.

He said, "Knock, knock." I replied, "Who's there?" and he said, in this sing-songy voice: "Someone too short to reach the doorbell."

I BURST out laughing, which made him burst out laughing, and I said, "Did you make that up?" and he said that Jack told him that one at Grandma's.

Then a few minutes later he asked if he could tell me another joke.

Henry: "Ding-dong."

Me: "Who is it?"

Henry: "Someone too tall to reach the knocker."